Ed-Brawl
by Hector Railway
Summary: The Eds are all grown up now, and only a few grades away from graduating. While playing a high-tech game they made up, Eddy inadvertently creates an entire sport culture as he attempts to sell club memberships, which causes The Eds to run afoul of the fun-hating Principal Antonucci. Told from Eddy's P.O.V. Rated for mild language. Contains Eddy-Nazz-Kevin and Edd-Kevin-Marie.
1. Rules by Eddy

_**Ed-Brawl**_  
><em><strong>Prologue: Rules by Eddy<strong>_

Let's start with some rules. Ed-Brawl is a game me and my two best friends made up. My friend Double-D did most of the nerd-work, and Ed did most of the creative thinking and heavy lifting. I'm more of a supervisor type deal.

Ed-Braw is played in teams of Three, each member fulfilling a role. The Jacker, The Doc & The Muscle. Each member has a gun that fires E's. The game is usually played when two or more teams put a dollar into the pot. Then we fire E's at eachother until only one team is left standing. You need your whole team to win.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Jacker<strong>, that's me, does most of the running and hiding. It's my job to get up close and personal and do some serious blasting. I can also swipe enemy E's. The Jacker is usually team captain, but not always._

_**The Doc,** that's my pal Double-D, does most of the technical stuff. I can't explain it, but he does a lot of cool stuff, jamming enemy guns, temporary upgrades and healing us in the killzone. .The Doc can also bring the other two back if their down for the count. But they can't bring themselves back, so if you lose your Doc, your as good as dead._

_**The Guard,** that's my pal Ed, takes most of the punishment. His job is to get hit and take it so The Jacker & Doc don't have too. He also throws everything he's taken back as hard as he can._

* * *

><p>Now, none of these roles are strictly vital to game play. You can have two of the same and one other, or a team of just one class. It isn't wise, but you can do it, hell if you're good enough you can even make it work.<p>

* * *

><p>E's are the best part of the game. Explosive little monsters and characters that you fire at the opponent for all sorts of effects. Some attack the enemy, some make area hazards, and some perform beneficial buffs. They're shot out of the gun as a little square of light before appearing, then they fizzle out the second they've done their thing. The card you loaded into the gun to fire them pops out of the back<p>

E's come in seven elements. The five _"battle elements"_ are **Fire, Earth, Water, Metal and Wood.** And the two _"special elements"_ are **Sun and Moon**. They last two are the rarest. In addition, E's come in 3 tiers, Small, Medium and Powerful, reflected by the coloured foil on their card, Red for Small, Blue for Medium, and Gold for Powerful.

E's are stored in trading cards that Ed drew and Double-D computerised. You get five cards when you first get your gun, and you can always buy more booster packs from us, or win them by betting them. You stick 'em in a special slot in your gun and fire, and the E comes shooting out, does it's thing, and dissolves, and the card pops out of the slot again.

Ed designed all the E's, and Double-D made them work. Their some kind of hologram deal I don't care to explain, but they totally work.

Over time, we put together a whole league, with everybody in our neighbourhood playing the game.

* * *

><p>There was us; The Erupting Weasels, Ed, Edd n Eddy. Guard, Doc &amp; Jacker.<p>

Ed designed our special costumes. Brown hoodies and Black Jeans, with special belts that have a loose end at the black, made to resemble weasel tails, in addition to standard Blaster holsters and goggles.

Ed's basically a wall of meat these days. 6'4, and weighing at 312 lbs, parents from Detroit, he was the perfect Guard. His red hair was no longer buzzed short, now just moderately short and messy. He had some slight face-fuzz, and wore a pair of glasses now, but he was still the same Ed.

Edd's now Ed's polar opposite. Hailing from Vancouver, he was the same height as Ed but Rail-Thin, the guys a pencil. His blond hair has ground and it juts out of his ever-present hat. He's sporting a rocking goatee, in my opinion. I'm jealous. Still the village brainiac, he's recently made a killing tutoring everyone.

And finally me, Eddy McGee, the man with the plan, fresh from Little Italy from New York. Tanned Italian skin, blue hair in a dashing Fauxhawk, and a six-pack underneath my manly gut. I'm the picture of a perfectly sculpted man. I'm only 5'4, but doctors say I'll hit my spurt any day now.


	2. Vs Fullmetal Shepherds

**Ed-Brawl**  
><strong>1st Skirmish: Vs. Fullmetal Sheppards<strong>

* * *

><p>Me and the boys waited around after school by the big tires. Double-D was polishing his blaster while Ed was flicking through his cards, wondering what he'd pick. I was flicking a quarter with my thumb, listening to the ping before catching it with my open palm, to repeat the cycle again.<p>

Finally, everybody came out. Kevin, Rolf and Nazz. The Fullmetal Shepherds.

* * *

><p><em>Kevin Yamashita was a Japanese-American guy who just turned 18, the oldest among us. He still wore a backwards red base-ball cap, and a black tank-top and brown khaki shorts. He had an orange goatee and tied his hair back in a pony tail.<em>

_Rolf Franz was an immigrant from Europe, both his parents were farm folk, that had to flee in the desert uprising. They started a small farm in Peach Creek. Coming of age, he was getting into the habit of wearing the ancestral robes of his people. His arms were adorned with the tattoos of his father, and left eyebrow bore the piecing of his mother._

_Nazz Van Bartonschmeer. A Full-blooded American, like Ed and Sarah. She was spending a lot of time in Ballet classes in order to secure the lead in the school production of swan lake. He clothing reflected this, a ballet tutu and feathery garments, along with bleached white hair._

* * *

><p>The three of them were a formidable Ed-Brawl team, Nazz as the Jacker, Kevin as the Doc and Captain, and Rolf as the Guard.<p>

"Hey guys!" Ed greeted with a dopey grin on his face. "What kept you?"

"Come on Big Ed, you know we'd never miss this for the world." Kevin grinned. He unclipped his gun from his belt, while Nazz got out her cards.

"What arena are we playing this time?" Nazz asked.

I jerked my thumb over shoulder to point behind me to the open soccer field. "We thought we'd make this a quick one. Monster trucks's on TV tonight."

"Rolf's thoughts exactly, short-stack Ed-Boy."

I grumbled at Rolf's comment, and held out the glass jar.

"Are we betting _money_..._**or cards**_?" I asked.

Kevin put a card in, as did Nazz and Rolf. Double-D and Ed put one in each as well. I would've preferred the cash, but I knew ole' shovel chin had some good ones that I wouldn't mind having."

We shook hands, Ed with Rolf, Double-D with Kevin and me with Nazz. After that, Me and the boys rushed over to the far goalpost, while Kevin, Rolf and Nazz moved to the near-goalpost, so we were a pitch lengths away from each other.

_**"Are you ready!?"**_ I shouted.

* * *

><p>Ed fired the shot into the air, and we made a mad dash towards the Fullmetal Shepherds.<p>

I saw Nazz load her gun and fire. It was a Punk-Rocket, the most common card. You found at least one in almost every pack.

It zoomed towards us, me and Ed leaping to the side to avoid the concussive burst. I tucked and rolled, recovering just in time to load and fire.

I fired one of my best cards. _The Hotrod_.

It transformed into a big red car that barreled towards Kevin and Nazz, intend on running them over.

Rolf jumped in the way and took the blow. The Hotrod fizzled out, but I saw Rolf took a pretty good shove.

A Shot whizzed past my head from behind me. I looked back and saw Double-D's gun still smoking, him still standing in the firing postion.

Double-D fired the _Tremorpede_, which turned into a big yellow centipede that burrowed underneath The Shepherds, causing a shockwave that knocked them off their feet.

This was our chance.

"C'mon boys, we got 'em!" I shouted. Ed and Double-D ran ahead of me, and I ran behind them.

I saw Kevin loading his gun to fire a shot, but I was too quick. I loaded a card and fired my gun. Like Nazz, it was a Punk Rocket. It's not flashy, but all I needed was a weak burst and Kevin's gun was knocked out of his hand.

"No!" I heard Kevin call.

I loaded up another card, _Escape Snake_. I fired, and the little square of light transformed into a big metal snake.

It wrapped around Kevin, restricting his arms and preventing him from reaching for his gun and firing.

Me and the boys kept running, we almost up close and person.

I noticed Nazz and Rolf had just shrugged off the quake, and both open fired on us. Nazz fired _The Lil' Bruiser_ and Rolf fired a Tremorpede.

The Lil' Bruiser was a small pink dog/girl creature, that instantly inflated into a massive rolling ball with a it's head on top. It was almost impossible to dodge.

I'd seen this strategy before. Make Ed take the hit and Double-D and me would take the tremor, stunning us so they could finish off Double-D, ensuring we'd lose the game.

Double-D quickly grabbed me and Ed and fired his gun. It was a _Wizdragon_. A small purple dragon that would slam it's glowing tail into the air and create a portal.

Double-D dragged me and Ed through the portal just as Lil' Bruiser rolled over us.

The Tremorpede landed as we existed the portal, in the air over Nazz and Rolf.

Just then, Kevin finally broke free of the Escape Snake, and ran to grab his gun. As we fell, we were sitting ducks, as Nazz, Rolf and Kevin shot all at once.

Ed fired, shooting his own Lil' Bruiser. It inflated infront of us, creating a handy shield from their Punk Rockets.

We landed on our feet as all the E's dissolved. I only had two more E's before the Fullmetal Shepherds had seen all my cards. I better make them count.

I fired, the little cube of light transforming into the _Zamel_, a lumpy blue camel with a pink top hat.

It screeched and stomped it's feet into the ground, creating a blinding sandstorm. The gust pounded on us, and the sand bit into me and the boys, but Kevin, Nazz and Rolf cowered, covering their eyes with their arms and huddling.

The sandblast faded, as did my Zamel. Nazz, Kevin and Rolf opened their eyes to find me, Double-D, and Ed pointing our guns right into their chests respectively.

"We win!" I said smugly, and me and the boys open fired a Punk Rocket each. Close range shot to the chest or head. Or in the rules of Ed-Brawl, instant win.

We put our guns away and recollected our cards. Me and the boys dipped our hands into the pot, pulling out two cards each.

"A _Lamby-Whammy_! Excellent!" Double-D grinned.

"A _Jib_! Ed has a Jib once more!" Ed bellowed.

I plucked my cards out and inspected my new one. A _Two-Hands_. Weak. Shovelchin always put dead-common cards in. But then again, so did I.

Kevin extended his hand.

"Good game Dor-I mean-Eds." He grinned. Double-D and Ed took his hands and shook them.

"So Eddy," I heard Nazz's voice call. I turned to face her beautiful face. "I was thinking, I've got ballet class tonight, but I don't suppose you could stick around...to walk me home?"

Such a request! In such a flirtatious voice. How could I refuse.

I slicked my hair back.

"Nazz, you got yourself a deal." I said. I take her hand and kiss it, and I looked up to see her giggle. I know that was a corny bit, but hey, Nazz digs movies.

I noticed the conversation had went on without me and Nazz. I heard Ed and Rolf arranging Ed's next farm work, and Kevin arrange for Double-D to come by and help with his science homework.

"So Eddy?" Nazz said. "When's the match next?"

"We've put a sign up sheet in the hallway if anybody wants in. We're still selling the guns and card booster packs." Double-D explained.

"That's awesome dudes." Nazz smiled. "I'm always talking about this stuff to my friends, they've been dying to try it out."

"Yeah, some of the guys from the football team have been asking about you guys as well." Kevin nodded.

I felt the dollar signs appear in my eyes.

"Boys! Huddle!" I snapped. Ed and Double-D tucked down to my height, and we tucked are heads into a circle.

"Okay boys, this could be big. I'm talking triple digit profit. But we can't do this if we're messing around in the little leagues."

"What do you mean Eddy?" Ed asked.

"I'm saying we go the whole hog! We put together a tournament! Official Ed-Brawl League stuff. Put together more teams, hire managers, promoters, built a stadium, and rake in the jack afterwards?"

"But Eddy? Where are we gonna get the money to hire promoters and managers? And how can we be sure people will sign up and buy the equipment?" Double-D chimed in.

"Easy!" I say. **_"Promotional Match!"_**

"Awesome Idea Eddy! Thats why you're the man with the plan!" Ed grinned in approval.

"I agree, that is a good Idea, but who are we going up against?" Double-D asked.

"Also easy!" I say once more. "We're gonna brawl the Kankers!"

* * *

><p><em>Teams and E's<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Weasel 29ers<strong>_

***Ed (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Lil' Bruiser (Water Type)_  
><em>[D: Inflates into a large rolling sphere on Release<em>

_[: Jib (Wood Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Psychokinetic Knockback on Release<em>

***Double-D (Doc)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact<em>

_[: Wizdragon (Fire Type)_  
><em>[D: Opens a teleportal on Release<em>

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact<em>

***Eddy (Jacker)**  
><em>[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)<em>  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Hotrod (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Powerful Ramming on Contact<em>

_[: Escape Snake (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Temporary Restraint on Contact<em>

_[: Zamel (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Blinding Sandstorm on Release<em>

_[: Two-Hands (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Knockback on Contact<em>

* * *

><p><span><strong><em>Fullmetal <em>****_Shepherds_**

***Rolf (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact<em>

======  
><strong>*Kevin (Doc)<strong>

_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

======  
><strong>*Nazz (Jacker)<strong>

_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Bitch (Water Type)_  
><em>[D: Inflates into a large rolling sphere on Release<em>


	3. Vs Steel Park Matriarchs

**Ed-Brawl**  
><strong>2nd Skirmish: Vs. The Steel Park Matriarchs<strong>

* * *

><p>I knocked on the door of the Kanker's trailer. I swallowed. Even though me and the Boys got on with the other guys, the Kanker Sisters were still...frisky...around me and the boys.<p>

The Kanker's were some of the best Ed-Brawlers in Peach Creek. I might have thought it was the only thing they did with their spare time if May didn't spend her afternoons in the textiles club, and Marie didn't love her job at the Garage.

Lee was their team Captain, and boy was she strick. Every weekend when we'd arange to have skirmish between the teams, she'd show up either to participate or just to sit and take notes. She bought a booster pack every time when had an official brawler meet-up, and I heard through the grapevine that she put her sisters through brutal training regimes, special diets, studies and exercises.

Dare I say it, she was a damn professional hard-ass.

I knocked on the door once more, only to have a Punk Rocket whizz past me. I turn to the right, to see May waving her blaster at me.

"Hiya Eddy." May grinned.

* * *

><p><em>May had definitely grown in the past years. Ever the fashionista, her hair was styled in a long hime-cut. Her body changed too. Taller, and bigger. Her sister's training machine to make her a better Guard had really shown itself. Her arms and legs were well muscled, and her breasts and hips were incredibly large, along her buttocks, with a smallish-paunch, due to her high-power diet. She liked to were really fashionable outfits that showed off her amazonian figure.<em>

* * *

><p>She loaded up a card, a blue one, I noticed, and got ready to fire the gun again.<p>

"Hey May." I said. I cursed myself for not bringing my Brawler equipment, but hey, it's not like was planning to throw-down. "If Lee in?"

Another square of light was fired at me, this time from above. It transformed into a nasty E, a _Boogin_. It missed me by that much, but just being close to it was enough for me to feel it's effects.

Lord I **_hate_** Boogins.

I was frightened. So very, very frightened. My throat tightened and my skin crawled.

"Hiya Eddy!" I heard Lee's demonic voice echo. I heard May's pig like cackle, and two more hideous laughs chimed in.

"What's up lover-boy?"

* * *

><p><em>Lee had also changed. Her orange curly hair had grown and she now started wearing it down. She still wore her old jeans, with a new polka-dot button up and leather jacket. In terms of her body, she was the only sister who wasn't amazonian, but with her nice hips and breathy voice, I had to admit, I was slightly scaroused.<em>

* * *

><p>The effects began to wear off, but still, I don't like the Kanker's place.<p>

"I have a proposal for you." I said, instantly regretting my choice of words.

"How romantic!" Marie's screeching voice sounded. "I can picture it now, a shot gun wedding, just like Daddy's.

* * *

><p><em>Like May, Marie had grown. She was friggin' massive. Her hair had gotten shaggier, and her wore a bit more mascara around her eyes that really brought out her half-Vietnamese heritage. She weight had almost tripled, with arms and legs rivaling that of hulk-hogan in terms of muscularity, and her breasts and stomach had really bulked up. Huge in size and nerves of steel, Marie and May were the perfect Guards.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>"NOT THAT KIND OF PROPOSAL!"<strong> I bellowed. "I'm here to arrange a skirmish."

Now that got the Kanker's attention.

"What kind of skirmish?" Lee asked, lowering her weapon.

"We're putting on a promotional match in front of the school, and starting a proper tournament. But we need a really good fight, and you're the best I know."

I had to compliment them at least once in the conversation, or it would spell doom for me.

"Alright short-stack." Lee said, holstering her gun. "You have our attention. But you gotta answer one question first."

I felt Marie and May leaned into my shoulder's with a smug grin.

"What's in it for us?"

I grinned.

"Oh I think you'll _like_ this one."

* * *

><p>I got home that night, and I grabbed the phone and called Double-D.<p>

It rang for a couple of seconds before somebody picked up.

_"Hello, Glass residence, this is Dr. Randall Glass speaking."_

"Hello Dr. Glass, it's me Eddy. Eddy McGee. Is Double-D available to talk?"

_"As a matter of fact, he just finished his homework. Are you calling to arrange a tutorial?"_

"No sir. I'm calling to arrange a sports meet up."

_"Oh, in your little survival games club?"_

I was about to answer until he heard a faint conversation away from the phone. It took a few minutes, before I finally heard another voice on the end of the line.

_"Sorry Eddy, my dad you know."_

"Yeah, yeah, I get it."

_"Anyway, did you arrange the match with the Kanker sisters?"_

"Yeah, but I had to bargain with them."

_"What did you give them."_

"That's not important right now. Did you get the arena ready?"

_"Yeah, me and Ed worked on it this afternoon. We went with the "Ruins", if that's okay."_

"Damn, I woulda gone with the Jungle."

_"The jungle would be too hard to spectate Eddy."_

"I know, I know, I'm just...thinking aloud." I cleared my throat. "Anyway, I need to make some more calls and arrangements. Talk to you tomorrow."

_"Goodnight Eddy."_

"G'Night."

* * *

><p>The Saturday morning I was by the school field bright and early. I whistled. Double-D and Ed really outdid themselves.<p>

The ruins were one of my favorite arenas. Full of rocky hideouts and interesting turns, Double-D was right, this was the best one for a spectator sport.

Kevin and Nazz were already there.

"Hey guys." I called, waving to them. With Kevin was a group of burly guys in football helmets, and with Nazz were the slim fancy girls from her drama class. Some of the other cliques were there as well.

"So Eddy, we did our part, did you arrange the match?" Nazz asked.

"Yeah, they should be here any minute." I reassured. "So will Ed and Double-D."

"Good!" Said one of the guys in football helmets. "Kev promised me an "amazing sport event!" and I better damn get a good match!"

"Like, yeah." One of the fancy girls scoffed. "Like, what could a total loser like you ever pull off?"

"We kinda stuck our necks on the block for you Eddy." Nazz told me.

"Yeah. So make this good!" Kevin warned me.

Finally, Double-D and Ed got here, as did the Kankers. Kevin, Nazz and the cliques all took their seats, and gasped as we all pulled out our blasters.

"Alright Lee, you know the rules, " I began.

"Yeah, no Ifs, no Buts, no Coconuts!" Ed chimed in, earning a brief chuckle from the sisters. I growled at that.

"Yeah, Yeah short-stack, we got it." Lee reassured, patting me on the head. Boy I was really boiling now.

"Alright then." I said. Me and the boys took twenty paces back, and so did the Kankers.

"Okay!" I shouted. "We duel on One…Two…THREE!"

* * *

><p>Marie fired a round into the air and we all made a mad dash for cover. Lee got behind Marie and May while her sisters took pot shots at us while we ran for cover.<p>

Ed loaded a card, and fired, narrowly dodging a punk rocket as he did. The square of light landed in front of the Kankers, and transformed into a _Glushroom_, a small glowing green mushroom.

The Glushroom emitted a blinding white light, temporary blinding the Kankers. Me and the boys used this to get to a hiding place without being targets.

I got behind an old pillar just as the light faded, and looked across the field and saw Double-D & Ed behind a column wreckage.

We each loaded a card.

I fired The Hotrod, and it barrelled towards the Kankers.

Ed fired the _Toast Rider_, a small knight in red armor with a medium fire attack. It flew towards the Kankers and created a fire pillar, causing them to run towards the left and into the path of The Hotrod.

Marie steeled herself, and she took the Hotrod. The E sank into her belly, and although it looked like it caused her a lot of pain, she didn't budge. The Hotrod dissolved and her stomach relaxed. Although I managed to see a new cut on her stomach that wasn't there before I fired.

I looked over to my left and saw Double-D had vanished, much to my and Ed's surprise.

I heard a distorted ripping noise ad looked to see the Kanker Sisters. Above them a Teleportal opened and I saw Double-D and the Wizdragon drop out. The purple dragon dissolved as he reloaded his gun and fired the second he landed.

The square of light transformed into _The Lamby-Whammy_ he won off of Rolf. It was a smallish sheep-girl creature with massive boxing gloves. It sailed towards May and slugged her in the face with it's fist. It shoved her out of the way and left Lee exposed at the right side.

"Now Ed!" Double-D shouted. And with that Double-D rolled for cover before the Kanker's could blast him. It was a risky move for him to get up-close and personal. If he goes down, we lose the game and our money.

_**"Ollie-Ollie Oxen-Free!"**_ Ed bellowed as he loaded the gun and jumped out from behind his pillar. He open fired on Lee, a simple Punk Rocket. Nothing fancy, but it should smoke her out from behind Marie.

To my shock, May got up just in time to take the hit. It struck her in the face, and although she didn't budge, a small gash appeared on her forehead.

"My turn!" May smiled. She fired her gun, her E of choice turning out to be a _Wishbone_, a skeletal bass-fish with a low-powered multi-attack.

The Wishbone struck Ed, and struck him again, and again, and again.

"Ouch!" Ed shouted.

Ed didn't notice Marie loading up another card. She was about to fire, but a Tremorpede whizzed straight underneath her feet and caused an earthquake, knocking all the Kankers off their feet.

I saw Double-D standing with his gun still smoking, read to fire once more.

He loaded up again, and prepared to fire, but was knocked back by Lee firing a Boogin into his face.

Once again I'll say it. _Christ I hate Boogins._

He sprawled out on the floor, screaming in panic.

"No! Stay away from me! I'm not like you! I'm not broken! Please don't take me to the scrapyard!"

As Double-D howled and sprawled on the floor, I saw the Kanker Sisters each loading up to take a pot shot at him.

This was what made me finally come out of hiding. I loaded up a card and fired at Double-D before the Kanker's could.

_The Bricklayer_ materialized, and landed in front of Double-D. It erected a huge brick wall in front of him, protecting him from The Kanker's attack. Yeah, that thing's a whizz at Laying Bricks.

I loaded another card, _El Mongo,_ and fired at the Kankers. It transformed into a gelatinous green goo and splashed all over the Kankers. Covered in slop, the fell to their knees and began gagging.

**"Oh my god it stinks!"** Lee shouted.

_"My nostrils are burning!_" Marie wailed.

I chuckled at this as I got behind the wall to check on Double-D. I looked up and saw Ed hiding out behind the ruins.

"Ed, keep them distracted, I need to wake up Double D!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I saw Ed nodded and leap over his cover, and make a dash towards the Kankers, loading his blaster.

Double-D was still trapped in a nightmare. **Lord I hated Boogins**. I needed to wake him up, but I wasn't a Doc. He'd snap out of it eventually, but the Kanker's wouldn't give us the luxury of time.

I could hear Ed shouting as Multiple Blasters were fired. I removed Double-D's wrist guard and shuffled through his deck. There was one E I knew I needed to use.

_The Professor. Moon Type. Healing Pulse._ Double-D's signature. Once released, it would fire a healing pulse that would restore all damages and status problems.

It was a little fuzzy green weasel in red goggles with two cogs coming out of it's back.

I heard Ed shout in pain and a thud, followed a blaster barrage.

I ripped off Double-D's gun, and loaded the Professor into it. I couldn't use my own, only Double-D's gun was capable of Friendly Fire.

I launched the Professor, which landed on Double-D's chest, and fired a green light from it's mouth. Double-D's thrashing and wailing stopped, but he was still out. I'll say it one final time. **God, I HATE Boogins.**

"Hiya Eddy!" I turned around in horror to see all three Kanker's towering over us. Marie was holding Ed's bruised and unconscious body. He was out.

"Looks like you lose..." Lee said as she loaded her gun, and Marie and May did the same. "Lover Boy."

Then a freakin' miracle happened.

Double-D sprang up, and in record time grabbed his gun, my gun, a card from both our decks and loaded the guns and before anyone knew what was what he fired two Boogin's right into the Kanker Girl faces.

May and Marie dropped to the floor, screaming in panic. Lee made a break for it and ran behind the Bricklayer's wall.

_"Big Ed doesn't love me anymore!"_ May screeched, almost clawing at her own eyeballs.

_**"Double-D! Don't leave me!"** _Marie screamed.

Christ these girls are obsessed.

"Nice Job Double-D!" I thanked, patting my pal on the back.

"Thanks Eddy." He smiled back. He reloaded his own gun and tossed mine back to me.

"I'll go find Ed and bring him back. You finish Lee." Double-D said as he prepared to dash back into the killzone.

"Wait! Can't we just knock out these two right now! They don't have a Doc, they can't win if we remove just one of them." I pointed out.

"That's true Eddy..." Double-D trailed off. My ears pricked up. There was a certain, roar, in the air. Like a whole crowd, cheering.

"Weasels!"

"WEASELS!"

_"WEASELS!"_

_**"WEASELS!"**_

"But like you always say Eddy," Double-D grinned, stepping back into the killzone. "If you can't beat 'em. Show off."

I smiled. I grabbed my gun and loaded it. It's my time to shine.

Me and Double-D strolled out together, to see Lee standing with a knocked out Ed at her feet in the one open area. I could almost hear the theme to "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!" in my head.

"You've done really well short-stack, but I still have one trick up me sleave, and trust me..."

Lee grabbed her gun and open fired.

"This ones SOLID GOLD!"

The square of light transformed into _King Tuckyershirtin,_ a small, stocky mummy creature with golden adornments. Anything it hit was petrified as a gold statue.

It ran straight for Double-D. If he went down, the game was lost. So I leapt, and let the mummy hit me. It hurt, and I could feel the cold metal spreading all over me. It hurt.

I looked up to see Double-D load a card, and with an angry expression, open fire.

The square of light transformed into _Tropic of Cancer_, a giant stony crab that created a volcanic eruption. It was a gold card, one of the few we had.

The E screeched and fired a stream of lava at Lee. It struck her dead on, and the high pressure stream mowed her down instantly. She was knocked out, and since they didn't have a dock, the Kanker''s couldn't bring her back.

But we hadn't one yet. The petrification was almost finished, and me and Ed were down for the count.

Double-D loaded another card.

"Don't worry Eddy." I heard him whisper. "I gotcha back."

He fired The Professor into the air, which fired Green Rays of light on me and Ed. The gold began to chip away, and I had so much more energy. I shot up, as did Ed. We stood by Double-D and one by one, put our fists into the air. The crowd went wild.

_**"WE WON!" **_I shouted for all to hear. **"DO YOU HEAR ME! WE WON!"**

* * *

><p>It was after the match, and me and the boys were chilling in the parking lot.<p>

"That was intense!" Double-D buzzed, of his tits with adrenaline. "Did you see me, I was like zap-zap-zap-zap-zap-zap!"

"Yeah, we were all awesome boys," I smiled. I saw Kevin and Nazz come over, both waving several pieces of paper.

"Eddy, you rocked today dude." Nazz said.

"Yeah, after the match, we couldn't sign people up fast enough." Kevin said. "Almost every club in school wants to be an Ed-Brawl team."

KERCHINK!

The sound in my ed rattled as my teeth turned to dollar signs. Unfortunatly, the moment was interrupted by the Kankers. Walking up to us.

"Alright Eddy, we did your match. Now we want what you promised us." Lee growled.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses." I said, taking Double-D's blaster. I loaded up a _Sparky Shoes_ card, a small imp made of lighting wearing trainers, and fired on Ed. It shocked him immensely, and at close range, he dropped unconscious. Double-D immediately figured out what my deal with the Kanker's entailed and tried to make a run for it, but I reloaded and shot him in the back with The Sparky Shoes. He dropped like a fly.

"Christmas just came early girls. I gotcha a treat for the weekend." Lee grinned smugly as Marie and May clapped excitedly. I saw them scoop up my friends and toss them over their shoulders, presumably to haul back to their trailer.

Better them than me.

* * *

><p><em>Teams and E's<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Weasel 29ers<strong>_

***Ed (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Lil' Bruiser (Water Type)_  
><em>[D: Inflates into a large rolling sphere on Release<em>

_[: Jib (Wood Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Psychokinetic Knockback on Release<em>

_[: Glushroom (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Light Burst on Release_

_[: Toast Rider (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Fire Pillar Attack on Release_

***Double-D (Doc)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact<em>

_[: Wizdragon (Fire Type)_  
><em>[D: Opens a teleportal on Release<em>

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact<em>

_[: The Professor (Moon Type)  
><em>_[D: Healing Ray on Release or Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Tropic Of Cancer (Earth Type)  
>[D: Causes a Volcanic Eruption on Release<em>

***Eddy (Jacker)**  
><em>[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)<em>  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Hotrod (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Powerful Ramming on Contact<em>

_[: Escape Snake (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Temporary Restraint on Contact<em>

_[: Zamel (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Blinding Sandstorm on Release<em>

_[: Two-Hands (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Knockback on Contact<em>

_[: Bricklayer (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Erects a Brick Wall on Release_

_[: El Mongo (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Creates a Foul Odur on Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Sparky Shoes (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Electric Jolt on Contact_

* * *

><p><strong>The Steel Park Matriarchs<strong>

***May (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Wishbone (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Low Powered Multi Strike_

***Marie (Guard)**

***Lee (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: King Terkyershirtin (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Solidfies Victim as a Gold Statue on Contact_


	4. Vs Steel Park Matriarchs 2

**Ed-Brawl**  
><strong>2nd Skirmish Pt. 2: Vs. The Steel Park Matriarchs 2<strong>  
><em>(Told from Ed's P.O.V)<em>

Me and Double-D had just finished moving the rocks that Eddy told us to move. And boy was I thirsty.

"Double-D, can we go get a soda?" I asked.

"Of course Ed, splendid idea, I'm quite parched myself.

I smiled at this. I liked spending time with Double-D, he's my very best friend. Sure, Eddy's the man with the plan, but Double-D makes me sandwiches and goes on ghoul hunts with me, even if he says there's no such thing.

My mom says I'm not that bright, by the way.

I looked back at the arena me and Double-D had just built. Sure, it had taken us all afternoon, but still, it looked cool.

Me and Double-D began to walk to the candy store to get our sodas.

"Double-D?" I asked. He turned to look at me, grinning.

"Yes Ed?" He responded.

"Are you excited about tomorrows skirmish against the Kankers?"

Double-D almost took a while to mull this over. Hehe, "mull". That's a funny word.

"As a matter of fact, I am. Ed-Brawling is such a thrill Ed. And nobody gets hurt. Sure we get injured, but we can fix that with the pull of a trigger afterwards. It's a _RUSH,_ Ed, to you know what I'm talking about."

"Not really." I had to admit.

"Maybe when we're on the arena you'll get it." Double-D said.

We got to the candy store and saw Johnny, Jimmy and my precious baby sister Sarah sitting on the curb outside, trading E-cards.

"Oh look, it's the Eds." Jimmy said as he looked up.

Johnny and Sarah followed suite, looking up and greeting us warmly. It felt good now that we were all friends. Sure Johnny went through that _"Super-villain"_ phase, but Mom said he was just going through a fad.

"Hiya Ed." Johnny greeted with a smile.

* * *

><p><em>Johnny had gotten a lot taller since we were kids. His hair had finally grown out and he tied it into dreadlocks, befitting his Caribbean heritage. He had a small pencil mustache, and wore a red bandanna and a black tank-top.<em>

_Jimmy had become...very effeminate. Platinum blonde hair with black highlight, mascara, and finishing off the ensemble was denim short-shorts and pink midriff top with a unicorn on it._

_Finally, my little baby sister. Sarah was letting her hair grow out, with permission from Mom, of course. She was going through her "16 phase", meaning lots of make-up, always on the phone, dressing in ways that make me want to punch people who look at her, and constantly talking hair, shoes and boys with Jimmy._

* * *

><p>"Hi guys!" I greeted back with a smile.<p>

"We trading cards, care to join us?" Jimmy asked.

"Sure!" I said. I asked Double-D to get me a Mountain Dew and gave him a dollar. He nodded and went into the store, while I sat on the curb next to Jimmy, and pulled out my cards.

"Oh Ed, such a collection." Jimmy commented.

"Thanks." I grinned.

I shuffled through them, and Jimmy shuffled through his.

"I have a Glushroom." Jimmy said, showing me the card. Blue, Wood Type, it was a good card. I could use that.

"Okay, um, I have a _Rotting Brain_!" I offered.

"We've known that for years Ed." Sarah piped in, not looking up from her phone.

Everybody chuckled for some reason. I personally didn't get it. Jimmy looked at the card with an unsure look.

"I'm not sure Ed, it clashes with my chosen motif." Jimmy explained.

"Hey Ed, I'll give you a _Clam-Champ_ for your Rotting Brain!" Johnny offered.

"Deal, I said happily. Me and Johnny exchanged cards, and Jimmy took a look at my new Clam-Champ.

"I'll happily give you my Glushroom for that now Ed." Jimmy offered. Now that was a good deal. Clam-Champ was only Low-powered card, and wasn't very offensive.

"Deal!" I eagerly agreed, swapping with Jimmy.

Double-D came out of the shop, holding a bottle of Mountain Dew for me and a bottle of Pepsi-Max for himself.

"Hello fellows." He said as he sat next to me. "Whats going on?"

"We're just doing some trades. Care to join us." Johnny offered.

"No thank you, I would, but Ed and myself have to get to my house soon, for study session."

My face fell at this. I hated study session. But I really liked dinner with Double-D's parents, and he told me his mom was making fried chicken and mash. Yum.

"OK then, see you guys." I said, waving goodbye to Jimmy and the others.

"Bye Ed, and good luck tomorrow." Johnny waved.

"We'll be rooting for you." Jimmy assured.

So me and Double-D resumed our walk to his house, confident that tomorrow would be an excellent match.

* * *

><p>We were upstairs in Double-D's room finishing off the science homework I had trouble with.<p>

"And finally, gravitational pull gets stronger as you increase the objects..." Double-D trailed off, making a "keep going" motion with his finger.

"M-mass?" I answered, unsure of the answer.

"Well done Ed." Double-D smiled, shaking my hand. "That's it, now write it down."

I quickly scrawled "Mas" on my homework.

"Done!" I shouted.

"Awesome," Double-D grinned, fist bumping me. "Now let's watch T.V."

We both thundered downstairs to Double-D's living room, hoping we hadn't missed the beginning of Doctor Who. As we ran past the kitchen, we stopped to catch the conversation Double-D's dad was having on the phone.

"Oh, for your little survival games club." I heard Mr. Water's talk into the phone.

"Father? Is that Eddy on the phone." Double-D asked.

"Yes Eddward. He's calling to arrange another club meeting." Dr. Glass explained.

"May I speak with him please?" Double-D asked.

"Well, since you've finished your homework, you may, but I'd like to see what you get up to in this club of yours soon." Dr. Glass

"Of course Dad." Double-D said, and took the phone.

"Sorry Eddy, my dad you know."

I quickly lost interest in Double-D's conversation. I wanted to watch T.V.

* * *

><p>We woke up earlier than normal, but we had to get ready quickly. I grabbed our hoodie that signified us as the Weasel 29ers.<p>

We got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Double-D had cereal and fruit, I had buttered toast.

I didn't get to finish all of it. On the last slice, the doorbell rang. We knew who it was. Me and Double-D weren't the only ones going to the Skirmish today, so we had arranged a carpool.

Me and Double-D walked down his hallway to open the door, to see the Kanker Sisters.

_"Hiya **Boys," **_The Kanker's said in unison, in that kind-of-flirty/kind-of threatning tone we had heard so many times before.

"Morning!" I grinned with a smiled. Double-D pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Come on then, times a-wasting." He grumbled, before letting out a brief chuckle. "I always wanted to say that." He muttered to himself.

We all piled into Double-D's van, Central Command. Once the derilict van we found in the junkyard, Double-D, Kevin and Marie all worked together to fix it up for him.

Double-D drove us in his Van. Him in the driver's seat, with Marie barging her way into the passenger seat to leer at him like a cat does to a bird with a broken wing.

That meant I was in the back on the waterbed with May and Lee, giving me the same looks.

Thank goodness we were only going to the school football field.

* * *

><p>We got there pretty fast. It was only a short drive, but I was eager to get out of that shark-pit.<p>

"Okay, you know the arrangement Lee?" Double-D confirmed with the lead Kanker. "We go in first, then you come aftere us, and Eddy was never the wiser."

"Sure thing Sockhead." Lee grunted, thumping Double-D hard on the back with a half-joyfull/half-sadistic grin.

Me and Double-D ran up to Eddy, who was with Nazz and Kevin. We greeted them, and they greeted us.

Then the Kanker's arrived. Nazz and Kevin and all the other guys took their seats. I stood beside Eddy.

Alright Lee, you know the rules," Eddy began. Oh, I knew this one.

_"Yeah, no Ifs, no Buts, no Coconuts!_" I chimed in. Eddy growled, and I took a step back.

We all to twenty paces back from eachother.

"Okay!" Eddy shouted. **"We duel on One...Two..._THREE_!"**

* * *

><p>Marie fired and I loaded my card.<p>

"Good time as any to give _**THIS ONE A TRY**_!" I Bellowed, loading up my new Glushroom. I fired and it landed in front of the Kankers, giving me and my friends the chance to run for cover.

Me and Double-D got behind some old ruins, while Eddy ducked behind a nearby pillar.

"Ready?" Double-D asked me, loading his gun. I loaded my own gun and nodded.

_**"YES!"**_

We all fired at the same time. Eddy fired The Hotrod and I fired The Toast Roaster, a little knight in red ar-what, Eddy already did that, oh, cool!

I love that little guy. It flew over to those Jezebelles and created a pillar of fire, making them dive to the left.

Just like Kahn is Star Trek 4.

"That was awesome, right Double-D?" I turned, only to find Double-D was no longer present.

"Double-D?" I wondered aloud to myself, looking around. I looked over to Eddy, and he was equally confused.

**HOLY MOLY! WHATS THAT IN THE SKY!**

A blue teleportal opened and Double-D and his Wizdragon dived out. Double-D hit the ground with both feet, and open fired, firing the Lamby-Whammy at May, giving her a brutal blow to the face.

You may have noticed that I don't describe the monsters like Eddy does, but I've been told he already did the exposition. I will tell you this, all the E's are very small, like, Yordle-sized at best.

May was blown back the Lamby-Whammy's punch, exposing Lee, who was shielded by her little sisters.

"Now Ed!" Double-D shouted, as he dove for more cover before the Kanker's could take a pot-shot at him.

"Ollie-Ollie Oxen-Free!" I bellowed, as I popped out of my hidey-hole. I fired at Lee, releasing my Punk Rocket.

Alas, my plan to get Lee was thwarted when May got up and took the hit head on.

She took the hit like a champ, not even moving.

"My turn!" May shouted, with a sick smile. She fired at me, and I got struck by a Wishbone. Then I got struck again, and again, and again.

I heard Marie cackling, but I also heard a small "Ed" coming from Double-D. The Wishbone dissolved and I saw Double-D fire a Tremorpede at The Kankers. I felt the rumble, but was far away enough to resist it's effects.

I saw Double-D load up again, only for Lee to fire a Boogin at him. Cool monsters, but have no strong feelings about them or their use.

I saw Double-D sprawl on the ground, screaming and thrashing. If I had to hazard a guess, he was having the "Turned into a Robot and thrown away" nightmare, brought about by his latent fear that his intellect isolates him and prevents him from making friends.

This was when Eddy sprang into action. The Kanker's were preparing to take a pot-shot at the near catatonic Double-D, but Eddy fired his Bricklayer and made a shelter for Double-D.

Eddy loaded and fired again, this time firing the El Mongo. It splashed all over the Kankers, and boy did it smell.

Eddy ran to Double-D's shelter, and tended to him. He looked over to me, where I was bugging out behind some rubble.

"ED! Keep them distracted. I need to wake up Double-D."

"I WILL TRY!" I bellowed as I nodded and made a dash for the Kankers. _**"LEEROY! JENKINS!"** _I shouted as I loaded my blaster.

I fired the Toast Rider again, which the Kankers still hadn't adapted a strategy against. Marie simply took the attack head-on, which shoved her back, but she powered through it.

Marie loaded her blaster and fired a Slugula, a giant purple slug with a gapping maw at me. I rolled to dodge it, and I did, just barely. It sailed behind me and hit the floor, creating a large iceburg behind me.

May loaded up and fired, firing a Punk Rocket at me. I took it head on, but the impact blurred my senses slightly, and I couldn't react when Marie fired a Lamby-Whammy to my face.

The punch took me off my feet and slammed me into the iceberg, shattering it. Shards of ice-exploded everywhere as I fell onto the floor, rolling.

I stood up, and Marie and May already had loaded blasters trained on me. They fired, a Boogin and a Punk Rocket respectively.

Quickly I loaded and fired The Lil' Bruiser. It inflated to huge size as to block the shots, but I quickly realised I had walked into a trap.

Lee popped out from hiding behind a rock to my far-left, and open fired on my side.

She fired a Shellmet, a Small Turtle Construction worker on a chain, and hit me with a Wrecking Ball-like force. I was blown backwards.

"I hereby dedicate this shot to my sweet muffin." Marie screeched as she fired a Bugsy at me, a small Pteradactyl at me.

The Bugsy flew in a circle, fast and faster, creating a wind-tunnel that I was sucked down into. From the air I was sucked in, and slammed into the ground with incredible force, as the cyclone subsided.

I pulled myself up. My back was bruised, by lip swollen and my left eye was black. My knees trembled, and I looked around. The kanker's had all hidden themselves.

"Show yourselves, foul Jezebelles!" I demanded. I was met by one response. A Boogin to the head from the back-left, followed by another Boogin to the head from the front, followed up finally by a Punk Rocket to head from the back-right.

Then everything went black.

I awoke with a gasp as I suddenly washed with a bright green ray. I felt so energetic I just jumped up. I saw Double-D and Eddy standing side by side.

**"Do you here me!"** Eddy shouted. _**"WE WON!**_

I laughed, and ran to my teammates, and lifted them both onto my shoulder.

* * *

><p>After the Match, me, Edd and Eddy sat in the parking lot of the school, drinking soda. Me and Eddy sat on the curb, while Double-D sat in the back of his van with the doors wide open and his legs stretched out.<p>

"That was intense!" Double-D yapped. He always went nuts after a match. "Did you see me, I was like Zap-Zap-Zap! Zap-Zap-Zap!"

"Yeah, we were all awesome boys."

Nazz and Kevin came up to us, each looking very happy.

"Eddy, you rocked today Dude." Nazz said.

"Yeah, after the match, we couldn't sign people up fast enough." Kevin grinned. "Almost every club in school wants to be an Ed-Brawl team."

I saw Eddy's hair transform into a giant dollar sign, but then I heard th familer footsteps of the Kanker Sisters walking up to us.

"Alright Eddy, we did your match. Now we want what you promised us." Lee grumbled.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses." Eddy muttered as he took Double-D's gun, ignoring his small protest.

He loaded one of his cards and open fired on me. I was hit with a surge of electricity, so powerful everything went black..._again!_

* * *

><p>I woke up to see myself tied to a chair, with Marie and May sitting opposite me. The chair sitting next to me was empty.<p>

"He's awake Double-D." May said, "You can untie him now."

"Coming!" I heard Double-D call from the kitchen.

Double-D came in from the kitchen wearing a chefs had holding one of his gourmet pizzas.

"For you, mi'ladies." He said as he placed the plate on the table. Marie and May snorted with a small giggle.

Double-D untied me, and I cricked my neck.

"Double-D, why can't we tell Eddy we've been dating the Kanker's for months now?" I asked.

"Well, it's because Eddy will get very upset." Double-D answered.

"'Cos he's a jerk." Marie chimed in.

"Uh, ok." I said, biting into a slice of Pizza. "Um, why are we dating the Kanker's again?"

"Common ground Ed." Double-D explained, while stroking Marie's hair. "I'm secretly an adrenaline junkie, and my sweet love-muffin is prone to lashing out at me. We both love heavy machinary, classical art, and I like housework for housework's sake."

"Oh." I said. We kept eating, the Kanker's eating with us. It was ok, I guess. May and Marie kinda gave us the same look as they did the Pizza. A look of predatory lust.

"Hey, isn't Fishbowl 2 on in 10 minutes?" May asked. I checked my watch in the sole of my boot, and my god, she was right!"

"QUICKLY!" I shouted, grabbing May's ropes. "We must turn to Cartoon Network Immediately!"

And with that I dragged May out of her seat and the the kitchen/dining room wall to the living room, while Double-D and Marie chuckled.

* * *

><p><em>Teams and E's<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Weasel 29ers<strong>_

***Ed (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Lil' Bruiser (Water Type)_  
><em>[D: Inflates into a large rolling sphere on Release<em>

_[: Jib (Wood Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Psychokinetic Knockback on Release<em>

_[: Glushroom (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Light Burst on Release_

_[: Toast Rider (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Fire Pillar Attack on Release_

***Double-D (Doc)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact<em>

_[: Wizdragon (Fire Type)_  
><em>[D: Opens a teleportal on Release<em>

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact<em>

_[: The Professor (Moon Type)  
><em>_[D: Healing Ray on Release or Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Tropic Of Cancer (Earth Type)  
>[D: Causes a Volcanic Eruption on Release<em>

***Eddy (Jacker)**  
><em>[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)<em>  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: The Hotrod (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Powerful Ramming on Contact<em>

_[: Escape Snake (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Temporary Restraint on Contact<em>

_[: Zamel (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Blinding Sandstorm on Release<em>

_[: Two-Hands (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Knockback on Contact<em>

_[: Bricklayer (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Erects a Brick Wall on Release_

_[: El Mongo (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Creates a Foul Odur on Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Sparky Shoes (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Electric Jolt on Contact_

* * *

><p><strong>The Steel Park Matriarchs<strong>

***May (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)_  
><em>[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact<em>

_[: Wishbone (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Low Powered Multi Strike_

***Marie (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_**  
><strong>

_[: Slugula (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Iceburg Attack on Contact_

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)_  
><em>[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact<em>

_[: Bugsy (Wood Type)  
>[D: Powerful Wind Tunnel Attack on Release<em>

***Lee (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: King Terkyershirtin (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Solidfies Victim as a Gold Statue on Contact_

_[: Shellmet (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Wrecking Ball on Contact_


	5. Vs Strawberry Cream Pies

**Ed-Brawl**  
><strong>3rd Skirmish: Vs. The Strawberry Cream Pies<strong>  
><em>(Back to Eddy's POV)<em>

**_A/N: Due to an anonimous complaint, The Bitch has been renamed. It's new name is now...The Lil' Bruiser._**

I walked the boot of Double-D's van. Ed and Double-D were already chilling on the water-bed, drinking soda from the mini-fridge and listening to Double-D's extensive collection of Classic Rock.

"**_PARANOIA, PARANOIA, EVERYBODY'S COMING TO GET ME!_**" Ed and Double-D sang loudly, their arms slung over each other shoulders. I don't think they noticed me.

On the wall in a plastic display sheet was Double-D's extensive collection of E-Cards. I had about 32 cards, not including doubles. Ed had about 19. Double-D easily had over 50, over 100 if I'm counting Doubles and Triples. Double-D made more money than me or Ed, so he bought more packs from our "supplier".

Impressive? You'd thing, but Double-D and Ed designed and programmed over 500 Es, so Double-D's collection barely covered that.

"'Sup Boys." I asked as I closed the van door behind me.

"Hey Eddy." Ed happily greeted.

"Okay Boys, I got good news." I said, clapping my hands.

"What is it Eddy?" Double-D asked, switching off Flagpole Sitta, by Harvey Danger.

"I hired a fight promoter." I announced. I had to dive into a lot of school clubs and social circles to find the right guy for the job. And I found him, the cashier at Burger Emperor.

**_Scoot._**

Sleazy, eager to make a buck and avid Ed-Brawl Fan, Scoot was perfect for promoting and management.

There was a banging on Double-D's van door.

"Hey Eddy, it's me, open up." Scoot's nasally voice sound from the otherside of the Van door.

I opened the door and Scoot entered Central Command.

Scoot was even dressing the part, having changed from his Burger Emperor uniform into a zoot-suit lifted straight from a gangster movie.

"Eddy! C'mere!" Scoot said, giving me an enthusiastic pat on the back. "There's my golden goose. Now don't you worry, ole' Scoot's gonna look after you and do you right, no doubt about it."

He pointed to Double-D and Ed. "And there's the rest of the bunch!" He said in a smarmy tone. "'Ey, c'mere, give Scoot a high-five, you mooks."

"Okay Scoot, we get the picture, you're a gangster, now can we please cut to the chase!" I snapped, irritated by Scoot's wackiness.

Scoot gave me an amused raised eyebrow, but he half-smiled and shruged.

"Alright." He said. "I've been going over the recent matches, and here's what I'm gonna do. I've pushed The Strawberry Cream Pies for two weeks so far, matching them up against the newer teams."

I raised an eyebrow, trying to puzzle out what Scoot was up to.

The Strawberry Cream Pies were Sarah, Johnny and Jimmy's team. And boy, were they tough. All of them were Jackers, using tactics like "Spam" and "Hit-and-Run". Johnny was particularly tough, being an experienced acrobat, and having a custom blaster that he made himself.

"They've had a two week win-streak, that's four matches a week, I'm gonna pit you two against each other this weekend. We'll market it as a battle of the titans, put the odds in The Cream Pies favor, and make a killing!"

Scoot slung his arm over my shoulder and performed the "see-it-now" motion with his free hand.

I had to admit, my eyes had transformed to dollar signs again.

Scoot's pocket buzzed, and he pulled out his mobile phone.

"Hang on, I gotta take this. I'll talk to ya tomorrow." Scoot said. He answered the phone and open the van doors. "James, Bay-_bee_, you ready to talk now? Lemme tell ya..."

Scoot shut the door behind him, and left to perform his duties.

I turned to Ed and Edd, who were looking at me with raised eyebrows, or in Ed's case, Eyebrow.

"Eddy," Double-D asked slowly. "Is there something you'd like to share with us?"

"I hired a fight promoter and manager, to arrange our matches for us." I answered.

"But..." Ed began to protest.

"But nothing." I said. "He's going to organize the league for us, arrange matches for us, in exchange for a cut of the gross. I don't see what's so bad about this."

Ed and Double-D went quiet, before Double-D stood up.

"Well Eddy, you're my friend and team captain, and this whole enterprise is your idea, so I suppose you'd be right to make some decisions like these ones. I just hope that you've thought this through, and I trust that you're not keeping anything from us."

With that Double-D opened the door to his van.

"Alright, everybody out. I need to go see Kevin. We're building a new Jumbotron together."

Me and Ed hoped out of the van, and Double-D shut the back and hoped into the drivers seat, driving off.

Ed said something about a monster marathon on tv, but I let him go.

Double-D was wrong. I had kept something from them. But it was for their own good. I'd rather they not learn about _"The Betting Ring"_.

* * *

><p>It was late in the Friday evening, almost dark. It had been four days of nothing but practice and equipment upgrade. All the while new teams were forming and buying equipment and cards.<p>

I made my way to the garage where Marie, Kevin and Double-D worked. The boss was a huge drunk, but he was always sober in the morning. This usually meant all car repairs stopped, and Kevin, Marie and Double-D were free to built and upgrade our Brawl equipment.

I heard tonight we were going to finally use the Jumbotron and Flying Cameras.

Scoot had given me a lift in his car, a crappy AMC Gremlin. I had to sit through Scoot's awful taste in music. He only had a cassette player and all three of his cassettes were Queen's greatest hits.

Why would you need three of the exact same cassette tapes anyway?

I climbed out of Scoot's car, him agreeing to keep the engine running to drive us to the skirmish. Ed was going to meet us at the arena, the big lug travelling with his sister.

I climbed out of Scoot's car, him agreeing to keep the engine running to drive us to the skirmish. Ed was going to meet us at the arena, the big lug travelling with his sister.

I walked in and saw Double-D and Kevin, shirts off and covered in grease. On the work table was a video camera with a helicopter rotary blade.

"Alright Double-Dweeb, you got your blaster?" Kevin asked. Double-D produced his blaster, and Kevin pressed a green button on the flying camera. The camera's blade spun to life, and the camera lens began to track Double-D's gun.

"Okay, fire at the Target." Kevin instructed.

Double-D fired at the target that had been hung up at the back of the room. It was just a Punk Rocket, nothing fancy, but the camera moved to track the E as it sailed across the room.

"Marie! Are you seeing this on the Jumbotron?" Double-D shouted.

From the next room, Marie's voice shouted _**"Clear as day Sweetie!"**_

"Alright, it works!" Kevin and Double-D grinned in unison as they exchanged high-fives.

"Awesome, is it gonna be set up tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, Ed's been at the school football field working on the arena all day. Marie and her sisters are gonna take the Jumbotron and rig it up to the school scoreboard, and Kevin's going to release the flying camera's before the game starts." Double-D replied.

"Awesome." I said. "Grab your Blaster man, we need to meet up with Ed before the match to get changed."

"Right behind you Eddy." Double-D grinned, grabbing his blaster.

"Hey Double-D, party at my place after the match. You still in?" Kevin asked.

"Count me there, Kevin. Now, as they say, Au Revoir!" Double-D smiled and winked as he waved and left with me.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Eddy, I don't think you'd get it even if I told you."

I grumbled at this, but hey, I had a match to win.

* * *

><p>We met Ed in the locker rooms outside the school football field. The sky was black and the arena was lit up by the floodlights. We had gone with my favorite arena. The Jungle.<p>

We loaded our blasters and carefully selected our decks. We unplugged our blasters from their charging shelves.

**"Locked,"** Ed said.

"And **Loaded."** Double-D finished. Damn it was creepy when they did that.

I heard clapping behind us.

"Well boys, I just wanted to wish you luck."

It was Scoot, all dressed up in his Zoot-Suit, holding a paper bag.

Scoot reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle with what appeared to be a yellow milkshake inside. He tossed one of these bottles to Ed, and another to Double-D.

"Energy Drink, to give my boys that extra pep. See, ole' Scoot looks after his boys." Scoot said, tossing me the third and final bottle.

"Mmm, _Bananary_!" Ed announced, already downing his bottle.

"I must say Eddy, you don't know what you're missing." Double-D confirmed, drinking his bottle.

"Eugh, banana." I said in disgust as I tossed my bottle away. "I don't need no Energy Drink. We're the Eds. Together, we're stronger than a mountain, and smarter than..."

"A Bus Driver?" Ed added.

I sighed. As much as I hated it when Ed interjected, I couldn't really top that.

I loaded my gun with a card.

"Okay Boys." I said, looking back at them. To my confusion, they appeared to be...twitching. Probably too much sugar in that milkshake. Annoying, but that shouldn't be a problem.

_"Lets go."_

* * *

><p>Scoot produced a microphone, as we took our spots.<p>

I had hired the school electronics club to work the spotlights and stereo. A Spotlight hit Scoot, and he appeared on the Jumbotron.

_**"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Forest Arena!"**_ Scoot shouted. _**"For this battle of the titans, we've packed this arena full of all-sorts of special treats. The big one..."**_

Scoot reached into his coat-pocket and pulled out a diamond-shaped red fruit, with a single green leaf on it's stalk.

**_"Is this!"_ **Scoot announced. **_"As you've seen, without a Doc, losing just one of your teammates can spell an instant lose."_**

_**"This!"**_ Scoot shouted as he held the fruit high. **_"Will allow anyone to bring back their fallen teammates. They're rare, and exclusive to the jungle-arena, but they're here. So in order for any of the teams to win this match, they're gonna have to get ALL the opposition."_**

Sarah and her team grinned evilly and cracked their knuckles. I looked back at Double-D and Ed, who were actually growling, gnashing their teeth, and fist-palming. I had never seen them so fidgety before a skirmish.

_**"Okay, you guys know the rules."** _Scoot said. **_"You fight on three. One...two..."_**

* * *

><p><strong>"THREE!"<strong> Sarah shouted, and open fired on me.

Sarah fired a _Muscle Book_, a book with teeth and nasty BDOS attack. It lunged for Double-D, eager to bite.

Suddenly, Ed lunged in-front of Double-D, taking the hit. Ed's eyes flashes with blue light and different words written in black text.

"O.J. DIDN'T DO IT! MOM'LL GET ME! ANIME NERDS! EVIL PRINCIPAL! DRED, _DREDD_ AND **_DREDDY_**!"

Johnny fired a _Grass-Master_, a little mound of grass with arms and legs and a wooden mask. It would release a green aura that would power up all wood types, an element Johnny used almost exclusively.

Johnny then fired his _A-Core_, a small tree-man monster, that would grow into a giant, walking tree. The tree-monster stomped down, causing Double-D tol roll out of the way and fire a Tremorpede at it.

The monsters collided and shattered into light, but Johnny reloaded and fired a _Sporesmack_, a purple fungus monster, into Double-D's chest. It created a purple cloud of unbreathable spores,

"Johnny, run for cover and find a fruit. Make sure they don't catch you." Sarah barked. Johnny saluted.

"I'm on it coach!" He shouted. He fired another E to give him cover and bolted.

Johnny's E transformed into a _Vineapple_, a blue fruit with two eyes, that would summon huge vines when it hit the ground.

The vines burst from the ground, but I quickly fired a _King Congo_, a small red monkey with a gold crown and powerful fire breath.

The monkey breathed fire on the vines, scorching them to ash before the could touch us. The plants disappeared to reveal Sarah and Jimmy pointing their guns at us.

Jimmy fired a _Clam-Champ_, a giant clam that functioned as a prison by swallowing you up.

Suddenly, Ed roared and his eyes flashed before snapping to normal, and he punched the Clam-Champ, causing it to shatter and dissolve.

Jimmy flinched at this, and didn't notice Double-D lining up a shot.

"Right on Target." He said before firing.

Double-D fired a Tremorpede at Jimmy, and collided with the little guy. The shock wave was massive. I had never seen Double-D and Ed with such focus and aggression.

"JIMMY!" Sarah shouted. She growled, and loaded up. She fired a Lamby-Whammy at Double-D, who quickly reloaded his and fired his own Lamby-Whammy. The two Es smashed into each other, creating a small ball of whirring light with a huge gust. I was almost blown back.

The ball vanished in sparks and Double-D's Lamby-Whammy zoomed out, slugging Sarah in the stomach.

"Double-D, you go find Johnny! Ed, you're with me!" I shouted. Double-D nodded and loaded his gun, running into the jungle.

Jimmy emerged from his hiding spot behind a tree and fired the _Caterpillar Choochoo_, a big caterpillar wearing a bow that had train wheels, which was a powerful rammer.

I fired my _Two-Hands_, a two headed gremlin, one side green, one side yellow, that would split to reveal two cables connecting them, that functioned as a knockback sweeper.

It worked, and Jimmy fell to the floor. I loaded up and fired again, firing a _Hog-Bank_, a piggy-bank monster that rammed you in a burst of money.

The Hog-Bank smashed into Jimmy's head. The little guy screamed, but he was far from out.

I heard Sarah roar and take a run for me. She loaded her blaster and fired, before loading and firing again, and again, and again. A Punk Rocket, A Lamby-Whammy, a Tremorpede and a Slugula all barreled towards me, all ready to unleash their effect.

"Ed!" I shouted, knowing he would come to help me.

"This ones for you Nestor!" I heard Ed shout. Ed grabbed a nearby tree, and with his own two hands, uprooted a whole tree. With a roar, he swung the tree like a bat and smashed all of Sarah's E's. With the same tree, he swung it overhead, and smashed it onto Sarah. Sarah tucked and rolled, avoiding the tree.

"Jeepers Ed, whats with you." Both me and Sarah yelled in unison.

Behind Ed, I saw Jimmy lining up a shot. He fired a _Mr. Sun_ into Ed's chest. The burning light blinded Ed, and shot him backwards into a tree. The tree literally shattered on contact with Ed, who remained on his feet, despite being blinded.

"I AM ED! CHEESE AND MACARONI!" He bellowed. He searched himself for a card, not seeing Sarah and Jimmy surround him.

"ED!" I cried, trying to warn him.

They were about to open fire. I tried to line up a shot as quick as I could, but to my surprise, a Punk Rocket hit Sarah, the E coming from behind a tree.

"Open wide." Double-D giggled as he sauntered out from behind the trees. "The Doc will see you now."

He loaded up and fired on Jimmy, shooting a _Plague Beetle_. The small green cyclopean bug landed on Jimmy's face, and suddenly his body shriveled and his veins turned black.

Jimmy dropped, barely able to stand.

"Thanks Double-D," I congratulated, and tried to pat him on the back.

**"DON'T TOUCH ME!"** He snapped, almost literally biting my hand. He loaded up and shot Ed in the face, firing the Professor. Ed's sight returned instantly, and he howled animalistically. I didn't know what had gotten into them, I had never seen them so aggressive.

"Come on Ed. If Johnny finds a Jewel Fruit, he can bring back the others! We need to squash him before he gets the chance." Double-D growled, fist-palming. Ed roared and nodded his head, them both loading up.

They ran into the forest without me.

"Hey wait!" I cried, but they ignored me. How dare they!

I heard to guns cock behind me. I turned to see Sarah, looking slightly bruised. On the ground behind her was Jimmy, looking sick as a dog.

"Say your prays, fathead!" Sarah shouted.

"I don't have time for this." I sighed. I quickly loaded and fired, before the weakened Sarah could react. I fired the _Best Eater Glass_, a small jar-like monster that quickly enlarged and imprisoned Sarah and Jimmy inside it's glass body.

I then loaded up again, and ran into the jungle to find my friends.

* * *

><p>I could hear the roar of the ground, and spotted one of Double-D and Kevin's flying cameras.<p>

I was definitely being watch.

Suddenly, I heard the familiar sound of an E being fired.

It was a _Jim-Cactoid_, a cactus-man with a nasty spike burst. It landed in front of me, and fired a spike in every direction. I couldn't protect myself, and I got hit. It stung, but it was bearable.

I turned around, and saw Johnny drop from the treetops like a thud.

Unlike everyone else, Johnny had a custom blaster. Jacker's like Johnny and Myself usually have a hand-gun styled Blaster. Johnny had Plank were a special harness that allowed Plank to function as a bow and arrow of sorts, firing E's through a slot on Plank's costume allowing them to materialise.

He drew another card and fired, this time launching a _Weed Whacker_. It sprouted from the ground, a giant weed wearing boxing gloves. It punched me several times in rapid succession, until I was knocked back.

Only then did I realise something. It was him. The sole reason behind the Strawberry Cream Pies winning streak was because of Johnny.

He drew another card while I was still stunned. I was almost a guaranteed bullseye.

It was almost an act of god when I heard Ed roar. He sprung from behind the trees, and rammed into Johnny with his shoulder. Johnny was shoved the floor, but even sprawled on his back, Johnny loaded his bow and fired on Ed, firing a _Jaw-Core_, a big green venus flytrap.

It latched onto Ed's shoulder, taking a huge chomp. Ed didn't flinch. He simply stepped to one side, to reveal Double-D behind him. Double-D quickly open fired on Johnny, firing a Boogin right between Johnny's eyes.

He dropped to his knees screaming.

"THE LOGGERS!" Johnny cried. "THE FOREST IS BEING CUT DOWN!"

Ed fired his most powerful E. _The Claw_, a yellow weasel with green goggles and a steam-shovel scoop for a tail. It was a moon type, very rare.

The Claw shoved a hunk of earth onto Johnny, who was blown back.

Johnny stood up, clearly struggling, but he managed. Still in a nightmare state, he was clearly struggling to line up his shot. He loaded up four cards at once, clearly going to fire them at once.

"Take that you big bully!" He cried, and fired.

A Vineapple, a Grass-Master, an A-Core and a Sporesmack all barrelled towards us. The Vineapple ensnared up is vines, the Grass-Master spread a green light over the arena, making all the other monsters grow in size. The A-Core grew into a humongous tree that smacked us around brutally, and the Sporesmack released a cloud of unbreathable gas.

We all held our breath.

Suddenly, Ed broke free of his vines, and ripped Double-D out as well. Double-D fired a Bugsy, which whirled around and around in the air, creating a wind tunnel and sucking the poison cloud away.

Now free, Double-D and Ed loaded up and fired on Johnny, firing a Tremorpede and The Lil' Bruiser respective. The Lil' Bruiser inflated into a huge rolling ball, and the Tremorpede burrowed underground.

Johnny finally shrugged off the nightmare status, and fired another A-Core. It grew into a huge tree, the trunk blocking the Lil' Bruiser and the Tremorpede was ensnared in the roots.

Johnny made a break for it, climbing a tree and disappearing into the canopy.

"After Him!" Double-D shouted. They ran after Johnny without me again!

"Wait UP!" I shouted. But god, they just weren't listening today.

* * *

><p>I chased after my friends with incredible vigor. They were fast, so unusually fast. I had no idea where they were getting this energy from.<p>

A Flying camera was tracking me, and I could hear the roar of the crowd.

Suddenly, I heard a loud "MOMMY". With such a loud volume and high, girly pitch, it had to be Jimmy. I made a beeline through the trees to get to his location.

I ran through the trees, and I could hear more blaster shots.

I arrived just in time. My Best Eater Glass had been smashed, and Sarah had just been slugged in the stomach by her big brother, Ed. As she fell to the floor, Double-D shoved his blaster into Sarah's mouth.

"Do you feel lucky you little brat!? DO YA!" Double-D growled, barely choking back the rage and psychotic laughter.

As Sarah made a muffled scream, Double-D fired a Jim Cactoid, stright into her throat. Sarah was blown back, several cuts appearing around her mouth and through due to the spiky explosion.

Holy Crabby Patties! Double-D's gone nuts.

"SARAH!" I heard Jimmy's shrill voice as he appeared from behind a tree, obviously his hiding spot. "I'M COMING GIRLFRIEND!"

With that, Jimmy fired his most powerful E, _Mr. Yum Yum_. A Pink Stuffed Rabbit that grew in size and took a really heavy swing at Double-D. Double-D dodged, while Ed fired. However, nothing came out.

After two seconds, there was a huge CLANG sound, and Jimmy, Mr. Bun Bun and Sarah were blown back.

A _Jib_. Ed had just fired the Jib.

Double-D stood up and fired a _Magnethead_, a small boy-monster with a horseshoe magnet for a head.

It flew into the air and a giant green pulse rippled from it, shutting down every single blaster except Double-D's.

He loaded up and fired his Lamby-Whammy.

It plowed through Jimmy and ran him into the ground, knocking him unconscious. Double-D loaded up another card and fired at Ed.

Double-D fired the Professor, restoring Ed and his blaster. They both stood up, and loaded their Blasters.

_"DUDES!"_ I shouted. "You've gone crazy. You need to calm down!"

Double-D and Ed just looked at eachother, before looking back at me, and Double-D open fired on ME.

A Punk Rocket hit me in the stomach. I heard the crowd roar thunderously.

Then I heard something else.

Johnny, swinging on a Vine and roaring like George of the Jungle.

Ed responded by firing an A-Core in front of Johnny, creating a huge tree for Johnny to collide with.

Johnny smashed into the tree, shattering it but falling off of his vine. Something fell out of his pocket. Several Somethings.

_"JEWEL FRUITS!"_ I shouted, realising Johnny had gone and found a whole bunch of the special fruits.

Johnny shot back up and fired a Rotting Brain, straight for Double-D. The little brain with eyeballs and nervy tentacles slammed straight into Double-D's head.

Double-D fell to his knees, his eyeballs pitch black.

"ED! I CAN'T SEE!" He roared. "Take him out!"

Ed had clearly devolved beyond the ability to speak, he instead roared animalistically and fired an _Ooba-Do_, a wooden Tiki-Mask with a firey body. The monster latched itself onto Johnny's face, and instantly Johnny assumed a similar stance to Ed's.

Double-D was slowly staggering around for the Jewel Fruits to cure his blindness. I saw Sarah crawl up from her spot, after Double-D temporarily stunned hehr, reaching for the fruit herself. I tried to shoot, but my blaster still hadn't turned back on yet.

But Ed noticed, and using his control over Johnny, mimed drawing a card and firing it through a bow.

Johnny fired his most powerful card, _Saw-Tooth Cecil_. A Big Saw with eyes wit a powerful slice attack.

The saw hit Sarah dead on, giving her a huge thud and a small cut on her chest. She was out.

Double-D finally grabbed one of the fallen fruits and stuffed it in his mouth. His eyes returned to normal, only looking extremely angry.

He loaded up his blaster, and fired at Johnny, just standing there wearing the Ooba-Do mask.

Double-D fired his _Laser-Raser_, a Turbine/Lasercannon on legs. It fired a huge beam of blue light at Johnny, straight in the chest.

Johnny was down, and we had won.

I heard a huge beeping noise and the spotlights turn on as the crowd positively roared.

I went up to Double-D and Ed with a furious look on my face.

**_"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!"_ **I demanded. _**"WE DO NOT ACT THAT VIOLENT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME! WE JUST DON'T!"**_

But as I was ranting, I saw Ed and Double-D grab their heads in pain and drop to their knees, screaming. They flailed and writhed, before eventually vomiting a milky, yellow liquid, and passing out.

I quickly signalled the medics.

* * *

><p>I sat in the medical room, the school junior medical club had already laid down Double-D and Ed on cots, and were just checking their vitals.<p>

Sitting with me were Johnny, Sarah and Jimmy, all bruised and cut in some way or another.

Most E attacks were made of light, so whatever was thrown at you, lava, boulders, laserbeams, were actually just concussive blasts and tractor beams, decorated for the sake of making it cool.

Most of the bruises and cuts accumalted by an Ed-Brawl player were either from resisting the E's effect or getting tossed onto the ground or into something, as was common. But anyway, a minor injury is all you'll get from an E.

But Ed freakin' ASSULTED Sarah and Jimmy. I had never seen my friends with such a bloodlust. It was unnatural.

Sarah and Jimmy were glaring at me, Johnny was still slightly out of it.

"Eddy you fathead!" Sarah snapped. "My stupid brother's gonna be grounded for life when I tell my mom he kicked me."

"Shut up Sarah, I'm waiting for the medics to tell me whats up."

The door opened and I lifted my head. To my annoyance, it wasn't the medics. It was Scoot.

"EDDY!" Scoots smarmy tone sounded through the ward. "Your boys were positively beautiful that last match. I was blown away."

"Shut up Scoot." I snapped. "My best friends are in the hospital."

"Relax Eddy, the shake should wear off in half an hour or so."

I caught onto Scoot's last words.

"Did you say...The Shake?" I asked.

"It's a little something I had the chemisty club whip together. It floods the brain with Adrenaline, Dopamine and all the other goodies that kept them in a perpertual energy jolt, along with making them incredibly angry and heightning every sense except hearing. The brain gets flushed afterwards, leaving them like..."

Scoot pointed at Ed and Double-D, lying unconsious on the medical cots.

"Well that!" He said.

"Why You little!" I gasped in disgust.

"You drugged my big brother!" Sarah shouted. "You forced him to go crazy." She grabbed Scoot by the collor of his jacket, and growled.

Suddenly, Scoot drew a blaster on her. He made everyone know exactly what card he loaded up. Pain Monger, a small flaming devil with a torture breathe attack. Gold Card. And believe me, that one HURT.

"Listen Skippy, you do not want to mess with me, or the people I really answer to. I have one order, make sure The Weasels get to face off against my benefactor. If you have a problem with that..." Scoot smiled as he lightly squeezed the trigger.

Sarah backed off, grabbing Jimmy's wrist.

"Eddy, you're stupid friend drugged my brother and Double-D. I'M TELLING MOM."

Sarah dragged Jimmy out of the room, and slammed the door shut. I looked Scoot squarely in the eye.

"You drugged my friends, turned them into animals. You were gonna do that to me!" I accused. "Give me one friggin' reason I shouldn't fire you and tell you to stay away from me."

Scoot reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a roll of fifty dollar bills, throwing it to my feet.

"Your cut of the betting proceeds." Scoot smirked. "300 Dollars, and thats only a third of what we made."

I picked up the money. It was more than I ever intended to make. And I was blown away.

"And remember Eddy, if you and I work together like professionals, there's plenty more than that came from."

Scoot turned and began to leave, and as he opened the door, he turned back to me.

"I need to make some calls to our third party benefactor. Remember Eddy, he's VERY eager to put his mettel against yours on the field. You'd do well to stay at the top of your game. And don't worry,"

Scoot pointed to my two friends.

"That...was a oneshot deal."

Scoot smiled as he watched me pocket the money.

"I'll be sure to warn you next time."

And with that, he left.

I felt the money in my pocket. I left the room, and caught up with the medic. Ed and Edd would wake up pretty soon, splitting headache but otherwise fine, and he'd sent them home.

I thanked him and began my own walk home. Still feeling the money, I was definatly gonna keep mum about this to the boys. No sense in them getting upset about being drugged. I'll happily share the money with them, no sweat. But I needed to sort this out without them getting involved. I knew we'd sworn never to keep things from eachother, but this was too big of a score to mishandle.

As I said, I was definatly going to keep quiet about tonight.

I only hope Sarah does too.

* * *

><p><em>Teams and E's<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Weasel 29ers<strong>_

***Ed (Guard)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact_

_[: The Lil' Bruiser (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Inflates into a large rolling sphere on Release_

_[: Jib (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Psychokinetic Knockback on Release_

_[: Glushroom (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Light Burst on Release_

_[: Toast Rider (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Fire Pillar Attack on Release_

_[: The Claw (Moon Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Shove Attack on Contact_

_[: A-Core (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Grows into a Medium Defensive Tree on Release_

_[: Ooba-Do (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Body Jacking on Contact_

***Double-D (Doc)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact_

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact_

_[: Wizdragon (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Opens a teleportal on Release_

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact_

_[: The Professor (Moon Type)  
><em>_[D: Healing Ray on Release or Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Tropic Of Cancer (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Causes a Volcanic Eruption on Release_

_[: Plague Beetle (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Causes Medium Sickness on Contact_

_[: Bugsy (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Wind Tunnel Attack on Release_

_[: Jim Cactoid (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Burst of Spikes on Release_

_[: Magnethead (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium EMP on Release_

_[: Laser Raser (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Wave Motion Beam on Release_

***Eddy (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact_

_[: The Hotrod (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Ramming on Contact_

_[: Escape Snake (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Temporary Restraint on Contact_

_[: Zamel (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Blinding Sandstorm on Release_

_[: Two-Hands (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Knockback on Contact_

_[: Bricklayer (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Erects a Brick Wall on Release_

_[: El Mongo (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Creates a Foul Odur on Contact_

_[: Boogin (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces a Nightmare State on Contact_

_[: Sparky Shoes (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Electric Jolt on Contact_

_[: King Congo (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Firewall on Release_

_[: Hog-Bank (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Money-Producing Ram_

_[: Best Eater Glass (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Imprissonment on Contact_

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Strawberry Cream Pies<strong>_

***Sarah (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Muscle Book (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Small BDOS Attack on Contact_

_[: Lamby-Whammy (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Uppercut on Contact_

_[: Punk Rocket (Metal Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Concussive Burst on Contact_

_[: Tremorpede (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Shockwave on Contact_

_[: Slugula (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Iceburg Attack on Contact_

***Jimmy (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Clam-Champ (Water Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Power Draining Imprissonment on Contact_

_[: Caterpillar Choochoo (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Ramming on Contact_

_[: Mr. Sun (Sun Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Gravity-Warping Fireball_

_[: Mr. Yum Yum (Earth Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Beat-Up on Contact_

***Johnny 2x4 (Jacker)  
><strong>_[: Grass-Master  
><em>_[D: Medium Powerup to all Wood Types_

_[: A-Core (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Grows into a Medium Defensive Tree on Release_

_[: Sporesmack (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Small Toxic Cloud on Release_

_[: Vineapple (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Vine Attack on Release_

_[: Jim Cactoid (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Burst of Spikes on Release_

_[: Weed Whacker (Wood Type)  
><em>_[D: Medium Rapid Pummel on Contact_

_[: Rotting Brain (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Induces Blindness on Contact_

_[: Saw-Tooth Cecil  
><em>_[D: Powerful Slice on Contact_

* * *

><p><span><strong><em>Mysterious Organisation<em>**

***Scoot (Coach)  
><strong>_[: Pain-Monger (Fire Type)  
><em>_[D: Powerful Torturous Breath on Release_


End file.
